Vince McMahon Movie Script LEAKED And Cast Revealed!!

Wrestling

The Vince McMahon Movie is going to be revival of WrestleMani: The Movie.

 

The SHOCKING reveal of the script coming in this morning. The rumoured Vince McMahon movie will be a supposed apology and revival of “WrestleMania: The Movie” FEATURING SUCH AMAZING EXCLUSIVE CELEBRITIES!!

Helen Linda McMirren

Helen Mirren gon get mad nominations when playing Vince’s longterm wife, Linda.

The Ruff O Mac

The Ruff Report noted that the man didn’t want to be typecasted.. so here comes the money!

Stephanie Silverman

The simulation machine in our studios shocked us to see Steph would be given a sense of humour!

Marky Cena

It was almost suiting the consider Good Vibrations would have a mashup with Time Is Now.

 

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TOHST Tues Oct 24 – Thurs Oct 26 2017

Wrestling

Tuesday October 24 2017

Big weekend that’s passed.. tough struggle here in the world of ratings, lemme tell you

Last week, a hot start for Weekly Wrestling Podcast coming in at a 3.2.. ending the weekend with a 4.7

aaaaaand TonightOnHipStarTonight remaining steady all week with a 2.7 .. unfortunately

but i mean, the Elian Habinero show wasn’t able to reach past a 1.4..

that being said, little worried for the reviews on Bruce Prichard’s latest episodes..

hope everything is okay with you guys.

this isn’t easy times for anybody

we got Brands fighting each other

like gangs!

The Indie boys are all now separating. It’s a difficult time for keeping it together.

and plus! I need a ride to No Limits Wrestling this Saturday night

so unfortunately, Hutch, I need to share your car pool with you to that show.

Sorry man.. we’ll figure things out

That car ride confrontation will be up on our Membership package, subscribe now at HipStar.Ca

——

Please.

we’ve lost the Wizard Id boards.. we lost Oiw.com.. the O Show..

we’re down to a Facebook group. Fans please don’t be using the Ontario Indy Wrestling group for hate speech

A comment of too many shows in one territory.. just make a public status, don’t ruin this for us.

The one place for the boys to promote their shows.. let them run, let US work.

They pay rental for a stage, they will come.

Promise you this.

——

Wednesday October 25 2017

With the individual brands all taking over the indies,

it is nice to have that feeling of a possible cult following

The fans I do see enjoying my brand,

I enjoy your enjoyment. It’s that little chunk of happiness that still exists..

Cause of you. We can certainly try to stick together.. but it’s really up to you.

Either way.. we’re appreciative of the ratings.

They absolutely persuade our efforts on the show..

and there’s a reason Weekly Wrestling Podcast gets the recognition they get

It makes the ratings wars all worthwhile, you now.

Ummmm

Chris Laplante, I’m comin for you.

This caller writes in..

Hey guys love the show, since everyone is promoting their own brand now,

just letting you know I am available for bookings.. also able to piggyback other gigs or will go halters on a promotion with you — Phun Fur, Hamilton Ontario.

This caller writes in

Jay Moore, been hearing rumours about your restraining order issued from you by Chris Jericho because of your harassing letters to try to get on his Boat Cruise Show. Wondering if you’d shed any light on the show.. love the podcast,guys, keep up in the ratings. – Chris D’leia Tonawana NY

This caller writes in:

Jay Moore saw your sneak peak of the TOHST video show

couldn’t help but notice your strong influence of Right Wing politics

heard Welland may need a new mayor.. would you ever have any motivation to run any sort of campaign?

Dr. Preistan Vantridius — Thorold Ontario

Thursday October 26 2017

I’ve been thinking recently about wearing shoulder tape. Like maybe it should be my new look.

First it was the kick pads.. everybody had to do those.. then they wore mouth guards.. now it’s all about the shoulder tape.

I’m not by an means a fashionble guy.. but I do like to look like I am up to date with the fads.

Show the youth of me.. so maybe either I should get my shoulder real injured or maybe I should just wear the tape.

There’s that.. or make more podcasts with guys from the Indies

Whatever works and keeps me alive.

——

we’re at a very specific time in Ontario Indy Wrestling history

Every wrestler here, whether a couple years in, just starting, claiming to be over 10 years

has caught on a bit

We’re all in the union ,,,of our own selves.

Every one is their own brand.

Makes for limited collaborated creativity, if you ask me.

I just understand it.. because I’m a goof

doesn’t mean some one else wants to.

Most don’t want their brand to look silly

I don’t consider this at times.

Maybe I’ll start.

——

Trump Implements Expensive Tax Reform In Honor Of “Go Bills!” Season Home Opener 2017

Fiction, News, Sport

President Trump gave a speech in North Dakota on September 6 in which he called for cuts to business and individual taxes, claiming falsely that the U.S. is “the highest-taxed nation in the world” (it is near the middle of the pack for developed nations, measured by taxes paid per person and share of GDP spent on taxes).

However, off-the-air interviews report after this speech,  it had totally slipped Trump’s mind that the NFL Season Opener was that upcoming weekend and he wanted to do something special in honor of his “Go Bills!” pride.

So how ’bout we keep the highest-taxed nation of the world the way it is for a little why longer?
donald-trump

Trump also disclosed (off the record) that he believes Sammy Watkins “was just such a disgrace” and it was “good riddance” to have him traded for merely nothing.

After this decision, American taxes are gonna be super expensive starting this weekend, y’all.

capture.jpg

Tobey Maguire Is An Evil Ploy Schemed By Free Masonry To Take Over Hollywood!

Fiction, News

NEVER BEFORE have you seen such SHOCKING EXCLUSIVE TRUTHS!
Tobey Maguire was a guy… OR YOU THOUGHT HE WAS A GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This video is the start to my THE ZAKK SHOW releasing ONE NEW VIDEO EVERY SUNDAY! It’s exciting you know… because I’m beginning you off with some real heavy shit here.

TOBEY MAGUIRE your SPIDERMAN 1, SPIDERMAN 2, SPIDERMAN 3, SPIDERMAN 4 MAYBE… YOU NEVER KNEW!

This is a good soundtrack to a video, you’re right. But with no harm or offense being brought to Tobey here in anyway… seriously. ‘Cause like, I watched this other video on the TubeYouer about these two guys writing mean reviews about Tobey on his OWN WEBSITE and Tobey was all pissed and came to murder those two guys. That’s frightening shit man, I don’t think I could afford that in this point of my life right now.
But I CAN afford a funny video that will MAKE YOU SMILE while at the same time EXPOSING REAL TRUTHS not necessarily about REAL GHOSTS NEVER BEFORE SEEN but it’s a story you should most definitely enjoy.

tobeysokooliomanlikeomgz

tobeysokooliomanlikeomgz

THAT’S HIP DADDAYYYYYY! So don’t forget. eh?
ONE NEVER VIDEO brought to you courtesy of THE ZAKK SHOW and you can depend on it on YOUTUBE SLASH ZAKK STELMACH.
THAT’S CONSISTENT, THAT’S COURAGEOUS, THAT’S THE ZAKK SHOW!

#HIPSTAR

The First Four Minutes And Fifty-Four Seconds Of This College Film Is What Every Movie Nowadays Should Be And Will Blow Your Mind!!!!

Fiction

Films today are all bark and no bite, man.
You have three-hundred-million dollars being spent on Mark Ruffalo being green and jacked and presenting his violence with a comedic wit against his Avenger chums but in the end, what does it all mean? Before Mark had to be chromo-keyed to a green shade, wasn’t he just a disheveled-bearded dude in front of a green screen? Why do we the people have to pay for this? Can’t we just go back to the good old days of  your stoner dad slapping a big slab of raw meat hanging from the rafters of his homemade studio attic?

One of the most underrated visionaries of our time in the sense of film directing, Derrick Glen shows you that real art still exists, dude. His first short film, not many people know was actually a college project (handed in on time, I might add… he got a 98.3%).

Killer Custodian_title

Ahead of it’s time, brao.


 

my eyelids feel like sandbags, dude.

Starting with the agonizing hours of video footage rendering, it almost feels as if time is going backwards for Zakk as his pending doom lurks in the shadows.

KillerCustodian_005

Always drag someone with your back at a 90 degree angle so you don’t injure yourself

You know, it’s a hard job being a custodian so that’s why I feel this film is so relative to anyone’s everyday life. The stress of always cleaning up someone else’s mess can probably really get to you… I mean, I was never ever a janitor but I’d imagine it would suck. So like, hence why this KILLER CUSTODIAN knocks me out and drags me into his evil lair of an utilities closet. And then what does Zakk find … ?

THEY BAGGED DAVE, MAN!

THEY BAGGED DAVE, MAN!

 

Never has a wretched hive of scum and villainy imposed such carnage as going as far as killing Dave before Zakk! I couldn’t imagine the circumstances that occured when janitor man confronted Dave but I’m sure it was truly horrific. The look of fear as we had to say to our sweet prince of David Campbell.

 

Just look at those clean surroundings, you could tell the handy work of a janitor

Just look at those clean surroundings, you could tell the handy work of a janitor

But I’m all like “No way man am I going to let that Cleaning Clancy ™ store me with his  well-organized cleaning supplies perfectly labeled by WHMIS standards!” You know, so I bust through the roof and I shimmy my way to what I think is going to be my escape. But then KILLER CUSTODIAN’s itinerary indicates otherwise! ee-arr-ay-arr-why?

“HAVE YOU EVER HAD YOUR HEARRRRRT RIPPED OUTTTTTTT?!?”

The shocking expressions that were on the faces of the teachers that had to mark this, as a man’s heart was wrenched out of his chest. Or at least with enough crafty-made decoys gave you the impression of that. The pale look of desperation on Zakk’s face as blood cascades from his mouth like an overflowed bathtub when you forget the faucet is still running. Never has a college audience been so repulsed and offended by the cow heart we bought from the local supermarket was disguised as my own. We did not harm the actual cow though, we bought it from the corner of Third and Bellcrest.

"I hope Three's Company is on tonight."

“I hope Three’s Company is on tonight.”

If you dare watch this almost-five-minute video, don’t watch it with your children or parents. This perfectly-edited masterpiece should be on IMDB but this underrated talent is not meant for the simpleton. This is not your grandaddy’s film, this is a cinematic imagination beyond your brain. It’s like unicorns and rainbows man but with hearts being ripped out.

HIP STAR Promotes New Awesome Shirts To Compete With Other Athletes’ Black And White OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE T-Shirts

Fiction

Chael Sonnen, Brock Lesnar, The Great Baba.
zakkblog-BROCK

Legends have been made and now everybody craves that drive to build themselves stronger. WHO CAN BLAME THEM AMIRIGGGGHTTT!
But stay relevant if you are going to promote yourself, son. And we all know that in 2014 there is nothing more relevant than promoting your own self-merchandised black and white T-shirts!

Join the HIP STAR revolution today as somehow gimmicks sell and so does Zakk Atticus in 2014!
You can choose from an EXCITING COLLECTION of well-thought, witty AWESOME MERCHANDISE that you are able to purchase at any Zakk-Atticus-related event near you.
Or whenever he gets a .COM domain and you can like, PayPal him or some stuff.

SHIRT1SHIRT2SHIRT3SHIRT6

SHIRT4

 

This idea is blowing up THROUGH EVERY REGION IN THE WORRRRRRLD. BUBBA.
Seeing as THE INTERNET seems to be my 2nd job, I don’t see what’s stopping me from making many, MANY more of these wonderful OFFICIAL MERCHANDISE CHEAP COOL T-SHIRTS !!!!!

Stay True, Hip Star Believers.

SHIRT5 – HZA!

50 Things The Statue Of Liberty Would Be Holding If She Were Built In 2014

Fiction

Back in 1886, The French were all like “Let’s give d’ose Americyens a present” but like, what if they ended up  sitting on the idea for a couple few decades and built it today… what kind of bananigans would Lady Liberty be holding in her hand and why? I decided to go straight to the source.

1. An iPhone 

She must take the best selfies.

She must take the best selfies.

2. A Big Mac

Maybe she sold out.

Maybe she sold out.

3. Her Legal Rights

She's been waiting for her growing license for years.

She’s been waiting for her growing license for years.

4. A Bacon Cake

Because if there is one thing we have learned over time, it is to utilize our bacon strategically.

Because if there is one thing we have learned over time, it is to utilize our bacon strategically.

5. A SuperBowl Foam Finger

 

 

 

 

 

 

The News Runs Out Of News So They Make Something Up About Rob Ford

Fiction

It’s been a busy few weeks for that wretched hive of scum and villainy, The Media. Don’t you think?
R.I.P. PSH everyone should watch Jack Goes Boating and Mary & Max. There was also some Super Bowl festivity of football where the spelling of ‘Payton Monning’ could have more than one meaning. And I don’t know, that thing that happened last past week with that girl and that guy on television. Pop culture, yeahhhhh!

This week however was a struggle to most of those successul news outlets. While some goombah from Buzzfeed was smoking mescaline and making up some article like “37 Best Ways Not To Drown While Under Water”, the taken-seriously media sites were scratching their thinking caps with ideas.

One hard-working gal from CNN was like “I’ll make the effort to go interview the president?” but they were all like “Nahhh, that’s not news, dawg!”

So just when The Media was about to shut down in it’s entirety, a lightbulb struck all of them at once.
“Let’s just make up some quotes about that disastrous mayor we’re all loving to hate!” was the general consensus.
The idea was hurrah’d by all and followed with a mutual jumping in the air and fist pumping. These journalists knew they could have the rest of the day off after they just wrote a small general article containing some hurtful words that a man in a Mayor’s position should normally not be saying.

The Huffington Post hipsters were happy, as they just wrote “Rob Ford Is A Mean Dude, dude” and quickly retreated back to their bongs.

The higher paid journalists over at CNN put their efforts in high gear and simply took the meanest quotes of all time, made them more relevant and quoted them in Ford’s honor.
Like that time, Adolf Hitler was like “the personification of the devil as the symbol of all evil assumes the living shape of the Jew” but to make it more modern, they rewrote it something along the lines of “The devil is any skin color that isn’t my droopy white skin shade”.
Because who really remembers history anyways?
Or they just straight-up stole a quote from Drake and said Rob Ford said the exact same thing “Yeah and lately I do bitches the meanest. Tell ’em I love them and don’t ever mean it.” You hurtful player, Mr. Ford.
Rob-ford-drake

Buzzfeed just wrote some nonsense containing a headline of “67 Reasons Rob Ford Hates His Mother”… because all the other obscure numbers for lists were taken.

Other people quoted Ford to say “And truth be told, I’m not a big fan of the black people” which little did the readers know, was already a quote from a Kurt Angle WWE promo. Rob Ford has been rumored to be a wrestling fan though, so who knows!

After all of this hooplah, we are safe to say that The Media is back on track to taking the smallest of things and blowing bigger than it’s proportion so it can be considered “News”. It’s their job too, you guys.

If what got me food on the table everyday was a quota of stories I just had to make up to get your attention, I’d sure as hell kill at that 9-5! And boy, am I trying!
Hashtag Hire Me CNN

– ZS

Birthday 24: Things I Am Good At

Stories

By far, the most unenthusiastic I have ever acted towards a birthday. What a dumpster truck I am acting like.
Dad was looking forward all week to the dinner reservations he made at a restaurant in Buffalo for my big day of. And I respond with such an unappreciative tone.
I mean, I look forward to it. Who doesn’t appreciate a free dinner dedicated to the day of you? I just feel so worthless on the actual day, though. My excuse: I want to celebrate something I can feel I deserve to be rewarded with. Ugh, I really don’t want to jumble you with an over abundance of hipster jumble BUT what’s the point of celebrating a day that was supposed to be for the purpose of you when even you can’t appreciate you?
I am 24. I am not sad and I am not using depression as an excuse. But I do feel worthless. I attended college like I was told to and still have nothing to show for it. I don’t have that satisfying job I assumed I would get right away. I know I have the potential but I AM JUST NOT HAPPY WITH ME RIGHT NOW.
Happy birthday to me but I would be a lot more satisfied on a day of ultimate celebracy. My first project published. My first dream goal crossed off. Hell, my first child born. THAT is a day you should take me out and buy me everything.
I feel having a day dedicated to appreciating any of that is only limiting what you are capable of. No? Maybe not.
It’s depressing. Getting to your own personal Christmas and you’re ashamed the day has come.
Because on my birthday, what am I thinking of? I am thinking of the year I just experienced and what I have to show for everything I have done up to this point.
There is bound to be one item mentioned that does not please you. Mine, I have multiple mentions.
And at age 24, I JUST WANT TO GET A FUCKING MOVE ON!
What am I waiting for? Seriously, why am I still fighting for the low list of jobs? Why don’t I have a lot more appreciation now that I feel I should have?
Why am I letting all of that effect my mood?

So I am sorry for feeling sorry for myself. So I thought I would make up a list of things I am good at. For my readers, to be seen as self gloating. To me, I appreciate that I made the effort to construct this list.

THINGS I AM GOOD AT:
– improv puns
– pouring pints
– advice giving
– finding the humor in situations
– watching football
– conversation on first dates
– constructing mixtapes for people
– usually always late for everything
– driving
– handstands
– forgetting names
– entertaining when the time calls for it
– pleasing waiters and waitresses
– tipping
– balancing a tray of glasses with one hand
– using my creative intellect to improve everything ever
– making lists

That is a shortly-thought out list of skills I should be appreciative of. Ok maybe not be forgetting names or the always being late.
But I think I forget too often why exactly I am great.
We might all do that.
And maybe we should all the take the time to feel sorry for ourselves and write these lists.
Because if we don’t say it, we may not the the privilege of someone else pointing it out.
And I am ultimately scared that we may live to never see the good in ourselves.

I Love You, Parking Garage Woman

Stories
Alan’s ideal woman had similar characteristics to Sailor Jupiter. Some would say the two were almost a perfect match. Some would say Alan’s ideal woman was Sailor Jupiter.
Tall, long brown hair, big green eyes, rose earrings.
Alan obviously couldn’t go around and ask his friends to set him up with Sailor Jupiter. He realized somewhere after his recent twentieth birthday that he would have to accept that this specially requested fantasy woman would have to come to him (if she was really out there).
Not the least bit feminine and physically overpowers bullies.
Up to then, he had never ran into or ever come to any association of meeting this woman.
But then there was this one time.
 
—-
Finding a consistent job is hard enough, never mind building the energy to stand on your feet all day. Lucky that the local indoor water park was hiring burg cooks. Just when luck almost runs out, it’s funny how life can suddenly become so… slippery?
The parking garage underneath the water park was a spirally hell to drive through. Alan had the employee parking space all the way on the seventh floor. It would take as long to get to the top floor as it did to actually drive there from his house.
 
The parking garage is where he would always see his Sailor Jupiter. Their schedules were such opposites. She would be leaving every time he would be arriving. He didn’t even know what floor she worked on. Or what her job even was.
All he knew was that she looked fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
 
She kept her bright yellow Sunfire as a sidekick charm. It looked great on her.
And she looked even cooler with her large shmancy bug eye glasses that covered half of her face.
She never smiled at him as they drove by. Maybe she was focused on always looking intimidating.
 
The more times Alan would drive by her, he would become more and more comfortable to make a motion to greeting her.
 
She never seemed to make the effort to acknowledge him. She was usually just leaving from a shift, so maybe she was too distracted in her freedom.
 
She probably didn’t have a clue Alan existed, he would consider.
And then they finally met but under the worst conditions.
 
 
Alan got miserably comfortable flipping burgers at the water park. It took him a good effort of a forty five minutes to drive to his job.
One day Alan waited ten minutes before his start time to leave his house. Weed and procrastination will do that to anybody. Besides, he HAD to see the winner of the Showcase Showdown.
 
He sped his Toyota Corolla faster then the locomotive was capable of handling. Hub caps were to be ignored, road laws were to go unacknowledged, jerkhole driving was to be encouraged.
 
As soon as he entered that parking garage, no consideration for what lie around that blind corner was given.
And that was exactly the moment when he crashed front bumper with his Sailor Jupiter.
The first thought he had when he heard that blundering contact was what would be the first thing he would say to her.
And then it struck his thought processes, “This is my chance to make my move”.
Sailor Jupiter whipped out of her door with a can of whoop ass kicking in her back pocket, prepared for opening.
“What the fuck, nerd?” she thundered out at him, storming around to the front of the car to inspect the damage.
Alan didn’t know what he deserved to have the nerd title shouted at him. Maybe it was the green Power Ranger action figure hanging from his rear-view mirror.
“S-sorry about that” Alan stuttered.
She squatted her legs and shook her hands in the air, “What am I going to do!”
Alan stretched his upper torso out his door but was scared to approach her. So he leaned his left arm on the top of the driver’s door.
“What’s your name?” Alan suavely imitated all those cool jazzy movies from the 50’s. He wished he was wearing a fedora.
She remained focused on the scratch and obvious dent that laid on her hood.
“My yellow honey”, she consoled with her car. She mournfully leaned over the hood and made the motion of hugging it. She didn’t hug it long, seeing as it was just running and probably a bit hot.
 Alan needed to act fast because she was being distracted. He had to say something that would get her attention.
“Maybe I could make it up to you.. tonight?”, Alan laid out the date invitation like the futon in his mother’s basement.
She immediately snapped her attention back on Alan. She took many fast steps toward him and sprawled out her finger nails like claws ready to attack.
“Listen her you little ass jacket,” she began on him with the uniquest choice of name calling “You’re going to pay for that scratch.”
Alan’s offer sure did do the job of getting her attention.
“Oh, oh of course I will” Alan tried to recover his conversation control footing. “Maybe I could take you out for dinner while I’m at it?”
Sailor Jupiter violently shoved Alan, forcing him backwards and losing his door lean.
 “You fucking fuck!” she screams, while storming back to her car. Her high heels clicking louder as she steps further away.
 
Alan was devastated. He didn’t know where his invitations had gone wrong. As soon as the crash happened, he instantly fantasized of how excellent he would handle the situation and how much he would impress her. His heart sank and his stomach instantly emptied. Allen went with the desperateness felt in his stomach and did the first thing that came to mind.
Alan threw his hands up in the air and screamed to the top of his lungs, “I LOVE YOU, SAILOR JUPITERRRRRRR!!”
Sailor Jupiter aggressively put her yellow Sunfire into ‘Drive’ and ran straight into Alan’s Corolla. She reversed quickly and peels back around the corner. Her car’s screeches echo throughout the parking garage like a rhythmic beat to the sinking of Alan’s heart.
That was the worst day of work Alan had ever had. Alan requested a schedule change instantly. A methodical way of avoiding the iron while it was still hot.
 
Weeks went and though Alan hated night shifts, had avoided driving into Sailor Jupiter. Alan was heartbroken but was satisfied with how he was handling it.
Then one morning while waiting for a red light on a busy four-way, he drives up beside a yellow Sunfire with his Sailor Jupiter in the driver’s seat. He awkwardly stops symmetrically beside her.
Sailor Jupiter turns her head and studies Alan’s face.
Just when Alan thought she was about to roll down her window and throw some more f-bombs his way, she surprises him one more time. Sailor Jupiter’s face grows familiar and throws Alan the first smile he had ever seen on her.
Alan darts his head forward and ignores her notion. It threw him off too much.
Then from the corner of his eyes, he spots the grungiest pair of women Alan had ever seen.
By grungy, their jeans were ripped, their haircuts were wildly uneven and their face was caked with metal and black paint. Alan had never said a word to characters of their type.
In their hands held a sign that simply read “The Big City” (in Canada).
That would be Toronto. Alan in the instantaneous moment of three seconds makes an entire motion picture in his head.
He imagines lights and endless amounts of attention. He imagines a new, unpredictable life outside of his mother’s basement. He imagines a life where he sold his Corolla for money and never experiences a ride through a parking garage again. He imagines a life with a real Sailor Jupiter, the one that can appreciate him for who he is. And how he drives.
 
Then the light turned green and the cars in front of him slowly starting moving forward.
He had a choice to make.
Pick up those bad haircutted hippies and ditch the water park.
Or wave back to Sailor Jupiter.
 
The water park would be pretty mad, was a thought that crossed Alan’s brain. So he continued with the traffic and drove forward.
 
He noticed to his left, Jupiter’s yellow Sunfire slowed down as she was focusing on reaching for something in her purse. This left a large gap in front of her Sunfire and a big open lane spot that shouted “Opportunity” to Alan.
 
Alan proved everyone wrong that tried to make him a stereotype. By making one unpredictable action that he would never do and/ or do again.
Alan swerves his car left and speeds in front of the yellow Sunfire.
This got Jupiter’s attention and forced her to slam on her car’s brakes.
Alan disobeyed all of the driving rules by cutting off every single car in every single lane.
He drove his car over the street corner curb and the Hippie Chicks got inside.
 
And Alan drove towards The Big City (In Canada) on a quarter tank of gas and seven bucks in change in his car’s cupholder.